The Stupidest Angel

(Blog note: My cover was cream colored but I really enjoyed the red boldness of this cover so I chose it instead.)

I am very glad that I gave Christopher Moore another chance. If you recall from an earlier post - I was not a huge fan of A Dirty Job.

This book focuses on the little town of Pine Cove during the time around Christmas. As we all know, the time period around Christmas can be very hectic - even more so the week prior to the big day. The book zooms in on certain key people like Lena (the ex-wife of Dale), Dale (a sordid person), Theo (the town constable), Maggie (Theo's wife and ex-B movie star), and Tucker (Lena's love interest).

When Raziel, the angel sent to deliver Christmas' miracle message, arrives to Earth he shakes things up. First of all - he doesn't blend in to the surrounding town. He is tall, blonde, blue eyed, and wearing a BLACK trench coat asking for a little boy. Not the kind of behavior that instills trust and faith in people. Meanwhile, Lena and Dale are fighting and while Lena is digging up a pine tree on Dale's property. Dale goes to attack Lena and in self-defense she kills him - accidentally of course. Two people witness this: a little boy and Tucker. Tucker helps Lena cover up the murder while the little boy goes home - to scared to tell anyone he just saw Santa Clause bite the bullet of death. When Raziel asks the child what his Christmas wish is - the little boy wishes for Santa not to be dead. What Raziel does, is raise ALL of the town's dead - making it a Christmas no one would forget. The town now has to fight off a horde of zombies that want to eat brains and then shop at Ikea (I loved that part!)

It was such a wonderfully funny book. I loved all the characters, especially how they interacted with one another. The end of the book had an enjoyable twist.

The Stupidest Angel by Christopher Moore, (New York: HarperCollins, 2004.)

Demonglass

Sometimes when I get a book, I like to think about the title and how it fits with the story. A few times, while reading a book, I'll have the "AH so that's how the title works with the book" moment.

There are other time were I like to understand how the cover of the book works with the story of the book. This was one of those cases. Before I started reading the book, I studied the cover. Liker her first book Hex Hall, the cover features image standing in front of a body of water with another image pointing back. The second image happened to be her wearing a wedding dress. "What", I wondered, "could possible happen in this story!?"

Now if you haven' read the first book, please do so, and secondly - don't read the remainder of this post. I might let something slip and I'd hate to ruin the book for you.

Last year at Hex Hall was a hectic one with Sophie trying to solve a mystery and also save her friend for ruin. Now summer is upon them, and for the first time in YEARS Sophie's dad wants to spend time with her. She agrees to go to London if Jenna tags along. If you recall, Sophie wants to go through the removal because she saw how terrible demons can be and doesn't want to take the risk of one day going mental (I heard Ron Weasly's voice when I wrote that!)

Her dad though, wants her to first get to know her demon side before she completely removes it. And besides, what could possibly go wrong on a trip where you spend the WHOLE time in London! I'm jealous that they could!!!

All that glitters is not gold, and with in days of landing things begin to take a turn for the worst. First the two demons that they meet have been getting them into trouble, and they don't even know who created them. That is not good, because that means that someone is rising demons - which will make The Eye want to destroy them forever.

That's not all. Before they left for London, Sophie found out that she is betrothed to Cal! How can she possibly marry Cal if she still as feelings for Archer - well does she still love Archer? Or like him? Maybe tolerate Archer? She doesn't know what she's going to do. But one things for sure, she has to help her father solve the mystery and save all of Prodigum.

This book was awesome. There were parts were I just could not stand to wait till I got to the bottom of the page to find out what happened. I did not want to put the book down to walk the dog or do my homework. Who wants to do homework when you have an amazing book just waiting in your backpack?

I also enjoyed the character development of Sophie. She was more mature and patient, you could tell she had grown. ALSO she had amazing references that made her more personal.

Books in this series:

1) Hex Hall

2) Demonglass

Demonglass by Rachel Hawkins (c) 2011.

*This book was sent to me by Authors on the Web so that I could review it.

Undead and Unemployed

This is my very first book which I read on the nook and I really enjoyed it! I found reading on the Nook to be very enjoyable and easy when I was trying to put my son down for bed. I only needed one hand to hold the Nook and flip the pages.

We first met Betsy in Undead and Unwed where her life had just completely changed. Or is that "unlife"? Now it's 3 months later and she starting to get everything back on track.....sort of. She still has to deal with Sincalir and that whole 'Queen of the Dead' thing, not to mention she now has to find a job.

She doesn't want to live off of her best friend, Jessica's money. So what job will allow her to work nights? She finally finds her dream job working in the Macy's shoe department. That does sound like an amazing job, although I'd probably get fired quickly for all the shoes I'd try on.

Life seems to be going pretty well for her until she finds out her little house had a termite infestation. And there there's the problem that people are now trying to kill vampires and are now after her. So between dodging bullets she has to fix the termite problem, solve who's trying to kill her and why, solve the mystery of the little girl (where is her mother), and avoid Sinclair. Easy right?

I loved how sassy Betsy was and how she always had a comment to make about someone. Plus she reads J.D. Robb too! I wouldn't mind if she were my friend. But I wonder how she'll feel, when 780 years from now, Mark and Jessica are dead. Will she bring them over? I guess I must continue to read!!

Books in this series:

1) Undead and Unwed

2) Undead and Unemployed

3) Undead and Unappreciated

4) Undead and Unreturnable

5) Undead and Unpopular

6) Undead and Uneasy

7) Undead and Unworthy

8) Undead and Unwelcome

9) Undead and Unfinished

Undead and Unwed by Mary Janice Davidson. Penguin Group, 2004.

Format: eBook from Barnes and Noble.

The Time Traveler's Wife

Imagine that you could go back in time. See events replay themselves out, and you could get different viewing perspectives each time you went back. The catch is - you cannot chose when and where you go back, and you cannot stop it.

Henry DeTamble has that problem. He is a time traveler. Although his past and future are intertwined, crossed, and tangled it is not always clear where he is going, and where he has been.

He meets his future wife, Clare Abishire, when she is six in 1977. When they first meet, he is 36, and has already known Clare in the future - is already married to her. The friendship they forge will last years and Henry weaves in and out of it.

Clare though, must struggle to live a life where Henry pops in and out of it. She has to deal with peer pressure in high school - the controversy that surrounds her - is she gay? Straight? Where are her boyfriends, or girlfriends?

These two must endure both the test of time and love. Is their love strong enough to withstand those tests?

This book is amazing! We often wish we could be time travelers, but we never stop and think of the consequences. We never stop and think how horrific it could be! Henry must relive some horrible events in his past, and he cannot escape them! Imagine reliving an embarrassing moment, that you can never let fade away in the past. I enjoyed being a part of their love story! It made me think of my own relationship to my husband, and how much I cherish every second with him - how I hate when he's away and cannot wait to see him again. It is hard for me to imagine my husband popping in and out of my past and future, never knowing when he will be gone, and for how long.

I have one small issue with the book. When Ms. Niffenegger would have two dates, like November 23 1988, and July 12, 2000 she would not separate them. Hm. I'm trying to think of a better example because obviously when Henry time travels backwards the music and cloths would change. There were some dates that would run together and I wouldn't necessarily be able to tell present from past.

The Time Travelers Wife by Audrey Niffenegger. New York: A Harvest Book (c) 2003.

Never Slow Dance with A Zombie

Last year, October 2009, E. Van Lowe and Ms. Princess of A Park-Avenue Princess were holding a Twitter competition to see who could coin a nice catch phrase with the title of Mr. Lowe's book. Mr. Lowe's name has been hyperlinked to the page on his blog where he mentions the first winner, ME! :)

I was so happy when I won! I now can say, I'm happy I got a chance to read his book! IT WAS FANTASTIC!

Margot Jean Johnson made a pledge that she would change her life. She would become popular and have a hot, popular boyfriend. Her best friend Sybil is going to help Margot attain that goal.

Friends though, don't always see eye to eye. On the night of the big carnival Margot and Sybil get into a big fight. They don't go to the carnival, instead assume the other is having fun at said carnival.

When the girls arrive the next day something seems strange. The students have a green tinge to their skin, and the most popular girl at school - well she looks like she has seen better days. All the students have turned into flesh eating zombies! Trying not to become among the living dead, they head over to the principal's office (since he clearly is among the living). The principal asks for a huge favor. Could they possibly NOT tell anyone about the student zombie population, and act as if nothing has happened. Class would continue like normal.

At first the girls enjoy their new status: popular AND alive! Soon though they begin to tire, and think about trying to help the student body. Will they give up their newfound popularity though?

I absolutely LOVED this book! I was laughing all the time, and I think I got strange stares from my fellow peers as I rode the campus connector to my classes. I enjoyed the descriptions of the type of zombie you could become (according to which clique you were in when you were alive.) At one point Margot thinks "Uh-uh! No way! I do not want to become a Goth-although black is slimming." (Lowe 63)

This story was peppered with snarky remarks like that all through out the story. It did have a serious side. Margot has the tough question (we all face) Is it really worth it - to be Queen Bee of high school?

If you want a funny, sweet, mysterious coming-of-age book then I suggest this one!!

Never Slow Dance with A Zombie by E. Van Lowe. New York: A Tom Doherty Associates Book, 2009.

Red Ted and the Lost Things

I first saw this book on the Graphic Classroom's site. I knew instantly that I would have to get my hands on this book.

It was such a cute little story, with beautifully done pictures!

One day Ted (the little bear) has been left behind by his owner. A police man puts Ted away with all the other lost items. Ted asks Mr. Crocodile where he is, and is told that is in the place for Lost Things. Ted though, is determined to find his owner agin and devises a plan. Of course Mr. Crocodile does not want to be left behind, so he joins Ted. On their journey, they befriend a cat who helps them located Ted's home.

I hope everyone gets a chance to read this to their young ones! It is such a cute story, and I wish I had a crocodile toy that looked exactly like the one in the story.

My son, who is almost 6 months would look at this book and listen as I read it to him. From what I gather he enjoyed it very much! Of course this book is for older children, the Graphic Classroom says between the ages of

"Rating: Emergent reader and older

Publisher’s Rating: Preschool and older" (Chris Wilson)

Red Ted and the Lost Things by Michael Rosen. Illustrated by Joel Stewart. Candlewick Press, 2009.

Jessica's Guide to Dating on the Dark Side

Jessica is on her way to school one day when she sees a strange person, in dark clothes. This person doesn't belong and is starting to give her the creeps. As she gets on the bus she swears he is calling out to her "Antanasia". How could he know that name? No one knows that name . . .well no one in America. Jessica is adopted, and Antanasia is her old name that only her parents knew back in Romania.

As her first day ends, her mother picks her up from school and she mentions the fact that a strange man has been following her. On their way home - she sees the strange man and points it out to her mother. Her mother gets out of the car and Jessica is nervous. What is her mother doing - this guy could kill her! But instead her mother talks to this strange man and even shakes his hand. When she gets back in the car she says this strange man will be coming over for dinner later.

During dinner that night Jessica learns that this strange man is two things: 1) a vampier and 2) her future husband. Before her parents died they promised her to him. Great, now she has to deal with her senior year of high school and somehow telling him that she does NOT want to marry him!

I really enjoyed reading this book. Jessica the main character was an actually REAL girl who was NOT a size 2! I was actually shocked to read that she was a size 10. Lucias (her betrothed) kept telling her through out the book that being a size 10 was beautiful and that being skinny was not. Wonderful!! I'm tired of constantly seeing super skinny people and being told that's what beauty is. It took me years to appreciate my body - even though I'm not a size 2 (I'm quite bigger and that's ok :). I also enjoyed Lucias who was a clever, funny young man who wasn't emo. What is it in teen books with the heartthrob being emo? I don't care for it.

Jessica's Guide to Dating on the Dark Side by Beth Fantaskey (c) 2009

Twenties Girl

Lara Lington's great aunt-Sadie has just passed away at the young age of 105 years. However, no one seems to care. In fact the only people that show up to great aunt-Sadie's funeral are Lara, her mother and father and sister Tonya and her father's brother Bill, his wife, and spoiled daughter. What's even more pitiful is the room. There are no flowers, not pictures of Sadie, and horrible muzak is being pipped throughout the speakers.

Lara feels even more guilty when the vicar comes and asks for some information on Said so that she can put it in her speech - and not one family member can give any information. No one knew her or went to see her. As the vicar begins her speech, a shrill voice cries out asking where her necklace is. Lara looks around - where is this voice coming from? Again she hears it and suddenly she sees the person belonging to the voice. A young lady in a flapper dress. The young lady notices Lara looking at her and demands to know where her necklace is. Lara replies she doesn't know - and suddenly her family looks at her startled. Who is she talking to? Suddenly it dawns on Lara - she can only see this person. Is she going mad? The ghost, who now makes it known that she is Sadie Lancaster (Lara's dead great-aunt) demands that the necklace be found and the funeral stopped. She won't stop bugging Lara until she gets her wish. Lara stops the funeral by saying she believes great-aunt Sadie was murdered. Suddenly Lara finds herself agreeing to help her great-aunt's ghost hunt down a missing necklace. Is she on a wild goose chase?

I must admit that when I read the inside flap of the book I thought the story would turn about differently. Like she'd find the necklace and be transported back into the 1920's and that sort of thing. I'm glad I was wrong. The 1920's has always been on of my favorite eras (the clothes alone!) and I was glad that I was able to read a book that blended the culture of the '20s with that of the '09s (as in 2009). Sadie is such a spunky woman, and you have no problem imagining her in the '20s in a smoke filled club dancing the Charleston. At time Lara seemed a bit dim witted (especially when it came her to her ex-boyfriend) and I was glad Sadie was there to tell it to her like it was. It was such a cute book to read. I was greatly pleased by it - the little twist and turns in the plot kept me wondering (and it wasn't an agonizing wait for the answers either).

After reading this book I want to go out to a cute vintage clothes shop and purchase some flapper dresses of my own (I've always loved vintage clothing '40s in particular). And why not? Although I don't think I'll be cutting my hair into a short bob or marceling it any time soon.

Twenties Girl by Sophie Kinsella. New York (c) 2009

Nightlight: A Parody

When I first came across this book I was excited, I was also in Barnes and Noble which might've added to my excitement. I quickly picked up this book and read the back and knew instantly I wanted to read this book. I was about to purchase it when I looked at the price: $13.95 for a 154 page book. Uh, no thanks. So I sadly put it back on the shelf and decided to put it on hold at my library.

Finally it arrived and with in the first sentence I was laughing hysterically: "The hot Phoenix sun glared down on the car windowsill where my bare, pallid arm dangled shamelessly" (page 3).

It opens very similar to the Twilight book, which this book obviously parodies. Since it obviously parodies Twilight there isn't a reason for me to state what happens in the book except that towards the end there is a twist that was not in Twilight. The two main character are Belle Goose and Edwart Mullen. In this book however, Edwart isn't a cool and dangerous as he is in Twilight. In fact Edwart Mullen is more of a wet blanket. Belle Goose is still a ditz and well oblivious to everything around her, much like she is in Twilight.

I'm going to share with you ONE of my favorite passages (there were too many to re-write and well let's face it - I'd probably retype the whole book).

"I felt overwhelmed and confused by the results: "Nosferatu", "The Buffy Summers Workout", "Kristen Sterart's Onset Romance", "Midnight Sun Leaked", "Robert Pattinson Excellent Blues Singer".

Weird. What did any of this have to do with vampires?"

(page 44)

Such a fun quick read to pass the time between books! For those of you who love Twilight you might not like it quite so much. I loved it - since I'm not a huge fan of Twilight anyway.

Nightlight: A Parody by The Harvard Lampoon. New York (c) 2009

Lunch Lady and the Author Visit Vendetta

Another day and another crime to solve!

Everyone is excited at Thompson Brook School because the author of the Flippy Bunny Books is going to make an appearance. When he arrives he is led to the gym where he'll be doing his presentations. After his presentation he signs a few books, but refuses to sign Hector's because it's ripped. After school Terrence is led by the rest of the Breakfast Club to the soccer tryouts the only problem is the coach hasn't shown up.

The following morning the gang is speaking about the mysterious disappearance of coach - for he never showed up to soccer tryouts. The Lunch Lady grabs Betty and they go into their secret boiler room to find out what's happened to the coach. After their research the Lunch Lady notices that the author forgot his lucky pen and decides to go and return it. When she arrives at his mansion she hands the pen to the butler and returns back to the boiler room where Betty is fast at work doing more research on the author. What they find out is that every time the author makes a guest appearance at a school the gym teacher goes missing. Is it a coincidence or is the author behind the missing coaches?

I still like the last book were the Lunch Lady had to battle the league of evil librarians. In this book the Lunch Lady and Betty take more of a back seat as the breakfast club does more of the crime fighting. I did laugh when the author refused to signed ripped books and then told the lunch ladies he only eats gourmet food.

Graphic Novels in this series:

1. Lunch Lady and the Cyborg Substitute

2. Lunch Lady and the League of Librarians

3. Lunch Lady and the Author Visit Vendetta

4. Lunch Lady and the Summer Camp Shakedown (Recently Out: May 11, 2010)

5. Lunch Lady and the Bake Sale Bandit (Spring 2011)

6. Lunch Lady and the Field Trip Frenzy (Spring 2011)

Lunch Lady and the Author Visit Vendetta by Jarrett J. Krosoczka. New York (c) 2009

Lunch Lady and the League of Librarians

Our crime fighting Lunch Lady is back and this time she going to battle evil librarians!

The day begins as days normally do, but this time there is excitement in the air. The annual Book Fair is about to begin!! All the kids and teachers cannot wait for it to begin! The librarian though is less that excited and snaps at the Breakfast Bunch and the Lunch Lady and her friend Betty to leave immediately because the library is closed.

On the way home, Hector notices he dropped his keys in the library so they all head back to retrieve them. The following day the book fair begins and everyone is happy to look around. After school the Breakfast Bunch decide to do a bit of spying on their own and what they see is something most librarians don't want you to see . . . THEIR EVIL PLANNING SESSION!!!!

Mrs. Page with the help of Edna Bibliosa (her assistant), Vivian Bookwormer, and Jane Shelver begin to formulate a plan that will destroy the new video game system and end with world domination. When the kids go to the lunch ladies the following day to tell them about what they saw the lunch ladies dismiss their silly antics. After all, how can librarians possibly be evil!? The breakfast brunch decide to take matters into their own hands . . . can they stop those librarians in time?

I loved it!! I know some fellow librarians and have a hard time viewing them as evil schemers which made it even more fun to read. I kept picturing them as the evil librarians in the book. One of my favorite parts was when the high school librarian preferred to be called a "media specialist" (about page 22). I also enjoyed how well (or rather not-so-well) the Lunch Lady went undercover. I also enjoyed the evil librarians evil weapons - characters from books that attacked - like the 3 little pigs.

Graphic Novels in this series:

1. Lunch Lady and the Cyborg Substitute

2. Lunch Lady and the League of Librarians

3. Lunch Lady and the Author Visit Vendetta

4. Lunch Lady and the Summer Camp Shakedown (Recently Out: May 11, 2010)

5. Lunch Lady and the Bake Sale Bandit (Spring 2011)

6. Lunch Lady and the Field Trip Frenzy (Spring 2011)

Lunch Lady and the League of Librarians by Jarrett J. Krosoczka. New York (c) 2009

Lunch Lady and the Cyborg Substitute

I first saw this book series advertised on a poster inside a school cafeteria (I was subbing at the time) and instantly I knew I had to read them! Finally, I have.

From the inside flap (I DID NOT WRITE THIS!):

"Hector, Terrence, and Dee have always wondered about their school lunch lady.

What does she do when she isn't dishing out the daily special? Where does she live? Does she have a lot of cats at home?

Little do they know, Lunch Lady doesn't only serve sloppy joes - she serves justice! And she has her eye on a very suspicious substitute teacher who just doesn't seem right . . .

Whatever danger lies ahead, it's no match for LUNCH LADY! Or for the kids who are on to her!"

My thoughts:

What a delightful quick read! You begin the Lunch Lady story with her capturing two bad guys before beginning her day at work. Before lunch is to be served, she and her partner in crime solving head down to the Lunch Lady Bat Cave where her friend shows her a new gadget. This made me think of James Bond whenever he'd go see his friend and get new tech gadgets. However, Lunch Lady's friend looks more like Penny from James Bond.

I love how all of her gadgets are food related - "spatu-copter", "cannoli-oculars", she even has fish stick nunchuks! How cool would it be to have a lunch lady that fought crime and worked at your school?

Graphic Novels in this series:

1. Lunch Lady and the Cyborg Substitute

2. Lunch Lady and the League of Librarians

3. Lunch Lady and the Author Visit Vendetta

4. Lunch Lady and the Summer Camp Shakedown (Recently Out: May 11, 2010)

5. Lunch Lady and the Bake Sale Bandit (Spring 2011)

6. Lunch Lady and the Field Trip Frenzy (Spring 2011)

Lunch Lady and the Cyborg Substitute by Jarrett J. Krosoczka. New York (c) 2009

Queen of Babble Gets Hitched

I'm going to be doing my reviews a bit differently from here on out. Instead of trying to summarize what I've just read, I'm going to copy the inside flap and then give you my thoughts on the book. I've always felt that the inside flap does a wonderful job of summarizing the book for us, plus it's the part we all read to see if we want the book. Since I do not know who writes the inside flap bio, and therefore cannot give them just credit, I will just quote the author - even though they probably did not write it.

From the inside flap (AGAIN I DID NOT WRITE THIS!!):

"Big mouth. Big heart. Big wedding. Big problem.

It's the wedding of the century! Things are looking up at last for Lizzie Nichols. She has a career she loves in the field of her choice (wedding gown restoration), and the love of her life, Jean-Luc, has finally proposed. Life's become a dizzying whirl of wedding gown fittings - not necessarily her own - as Lizzie prepares for her dream wedding at her fiancé's chateau in the south of France.

But the dream soon becomes a nightmare as the best man - whom Lizzie might once have accidentally slept with . . . no, really, just slept - announces his total lack of support for the couple, a sentiment the maid of honor happens to second; Lizzie's Midwestern family can't understand why she doesn't want to have her wedding in the family backyard; her future, oh-so-proper French in-laws seem to be slowly trying to lure the groom away from medical school and back into investment banking; and Lizzie finder herself wondering if her Prince Charming really is as charming as she once believed.

Is Lizzie really ready to embrace her new role as wife and mistress of Chateau Mirac? Or is she destined to fall into another man's arms . . . and into the trap of becoming a Bad Girl instead?"

My thoughts:

I have read the first two books so I was eager to read the third and final book. The inside flap (which you have just read above) re-kindled my curiosity about the story. Would Lizzie end up with Luke? Would she finally start her own business? What of Chaz and Sheri? However after reading the book I feel mildly pleased. The inside flap hints about Luke's family trying to lure him away, but it didn't really feel like that. I thought there was going to be some major fighting between Lizzie and Luke's family however they weren't really mentioned (except for his uncle).

Granted - this book is supposed to be a light summer read - but I was hoping for a bit more. There were times when I wanted to slap Lizzie. I felt like her self realization moments were the same thing. Like she kept saying "and my hair was brown, not blonde, which I had always wanted" over and over and over again - and each time she is shocked at her conclusion - when she had just reached the very same conclusion not 5 pages ago. I wish Meg Cabot would've done a fourth Queen of Babble book - like her ever after, children or no children, how she deals with being a wife and running a business or not. Perhaps I could email her and suggest it? (Silly me, to think a famous writer would read an email from moi!)

All in all this book was a nice light read, perfect for the beach or as an "in-between" book (as in-between heavy reading [for school, work, whatever]) so I'd give it a B for whatever it's worth.

Books in this series :

1) Queen of Babble

2) Queen of Babble: In The Big City

3) Queen of Babble: Gets Hitched

Queen of Babble Hitched by Meg Cabot (c) 2008 Meg Cabot LLC

Dancing in Red Shoes Will Kill You

As I was browsing the YA section in my library I came across this book, and I'm sad to say I judged a book by its title. I do not know if it's as bad as judging a book by its cover but there, my confession is out. I've always had a secret dream to be a ballerina and this book let me live vicariously through the main character Kayla.

Kayla attends Florida Arts High School (which everyone calls Farts) with her older sister Paterson. She attends the school for their dance section while Paterson attends the school for their art section. Kayla has been a ballet dancer for all her life and loves every moment of it, even when Melissa (who's like Malfoy in HP) continues to irritate Kayla. Kayla is entering her junior year at Farts and it really excited. She spent her summer in NYC perfecting her technique at a wonderful ballet school and can't wait to put her new technique to use and win the coveted role of Cinderella in the ballet production of Cinderella.

When auditions come, she preforms wonderfully. The next day when the roles have been cast everyone is crowding around to see who's gotten which position. Lourdes, one of Kayla's friends has received the role of Cinderella (and although Kayla really wanted that part she's glad it went to Lourdes). Although Kayla is bummed she still can get a decent part by playing one of the seasons - but no. Her role is playing that of one of the ugly step-sisters! Even though she landed the understudy role of Cinderella, her true role is that of an ugly step-sister. Later that day Kayla's dance instructor calls her into her office to explain the decisioning. Timm (with two ems) whose company is producing the play, decided not to cast Kayla as Cinderella because she is rather 'well endowed' and does not have the 'typical' female ballerina body. He does recognizer her talent, but her lady friends are just too much.

The next day a pair of red pointe shows with a note "dancing in red shoes will kill you" appear in the dance studio. Rumors start to swirl about who and why they were placed there. Of course Melissa takes this opportune moment to cast suspicion towards Kayla. The question though remains who put them there and is it a legitimate threat? Will someone actually die if they were red pointe shoes while preforming Cinderella?

This was such a quick and light read. The message of the book was very easy to grasp without having to dig for it: girls should not have to conform to the "norm" just to 'fit in'. Kayla with her rather large chest would have had to had breast reduction surgery if she wanted to continue in the main areas of ballet; she doesn't have the typical body of a female ballerina - which I assume is tiny everywhere. In the book Paterson, Gray, and Kayla were talking about fairy tales and the implications the message has for young women. In the olden days (before Disney changed them) the tales were more like the true Brothers Grimm tales - there was not happily every after for the women.

Dancing in Red Shoes Will Kill You by Dorian Cirrone. NY (c) 2005

Are you there Vodka? It's Me Chelsea

According to her back inside flap, this book is "memoir and humor" but what I didn't get is the memoir part of it. There were times when I could clearly see it being a memoir type of book; she mentions being a young girl in school and being made fun of - and how she used to tell lies to become popular. But there are other parts that make me question if it's 100% a memoir - like her picking a fight with 3 Latina teenagers. That I had a hard time seeing as being real.

I don't know how her chapters worked - they didn't seem to be that cohesive in telling a story about Chelsea's life. More often than not they seemed to be by themselves with Chelsea being the only thing to tie them together.

There were some humorous parts - like the part where she mentioned that there was a little person, who was a big fan and Chelsea (who loves little people) wanted to taker her under her wings and take care of her.

I don't know how I feel about this book - it's like a sweet and sour feeling. I do want to read her other books, my friends have recommended them to me, so I hope I will like them a bit more thn this book.

Other books by Chelsea Handler:

1) My Horizontal Life: A collection of One-Night Stands

2) Are you there Vodka? It's me Chelsea

3) Chelsea Chelsea Bang Bang (newly released March 9, 2010)

Official Book Club Selection: A memoir according to Kathy Griffin

This is my second memoir, and I liked it. I found it funny and entertaining from the beginning till the end. However, I had just finished Chelsea Handler's book and although it says "memoir/drama" I didn't find it funny nor believable but I'll get to her book on another post.

Kathy Griffin shares insights into her life hat might not have been seen on My Life on the D-List her Bravo TV show. She tells you about growing and only eating, sleeping, and dreaming of becoming a star. How she had to pay her 'dues' for longer than anyone else.

What I liked most about this book is that she wasn't scared to let you see into her life: from her divorce from her husband Matt, her child molesting brother Kenny, to winning her Emmys. She shares every part of her life with you.

I enjoyed that. Hollywood and everyone that seems to work in its sphere of influence, is so obsessed with portraying everything as flawless. Women have to be a size 0 and not show their age, houses have to be big and lavish. Kathy though, is the voice in Hollywood to point out how crazy they (celebrities, agents, produces/writers etc) are! She pokes fun at herself and at others. She never once pretended to be anything other than who she is and I love that.

She is an extremely hard worker, who never stops and is smart with her money. I only barely knew her from seeing commercials from My Life on the D-List and know I have a better understanding of who she is.

Official Book Club Selection: A memoir according to Kathy Griffin by Kathy Griffin. New York (c) 2009

Soulless

This book was recommended to me by Darla D! Her review of this book is right here!

Britain during the time of Queen Victoria, oh how I would have loved to have been there! Ms. Alexia Tarabotti is something of an unusual person; she has no soul. This would concern most people but Ms. Tarabotti takes it in stride. She is also a spinster, which doesn't bother her the least. Her mother on the other hand is less than thrilled to have a spinster for a daughter who is also Italian. One evening Ms. Tarabotti, hungry and miffed that she cannot eat (even though promised there would be food at the party) goes to sit down and snack on some food but is attacked by a vampire!

She is shocked for naturally vampires do not do such a thing! This is a proper British society after all. As the vampire goes to bite her she places her hand upon him nullifying his vampire-ness, a trait which is only allowed to the preternatural (a term referring to her kind). After trying to dissuade the vampire who won't take the hint, Alexia mistakenly kills him. Just as the vampire dies Lord Maccon walks into the study and finds the messy situation. The vampire though is not from the local hive (as no hive would allow a half starved crazy vampire with no etiquette training to be about London). Lord Maccon, leader of BUR or Bureau of Unnatural Registry begins an investigation. The investigation begins to uncover some very unpleasant news that will drag Alexia into the supernatural world.

I just love this book! From the mannerisms of Ms. Tarabotti (she's not the typical Victorian lady - she has a mind and speaks out) to her interactions with Lord Maccon (again, not a feeble woman but one to be reckoned with) to the way that Victorian England is cast into a sci-fi world with floating dirigibles, werewolves and vampires (of high class and breeding no doubt!) this book just has it all and told so wonderfully. I must say that I had a lovely surprise when a certain character that I had written off as lame came back to be a key player. How delightful! My favorite character though had to be Mr. Akeldama! He was such a fun character to get to know and I quite liked his 'loud' style.

Books in this series:

The Parasol Protectorate Series

1) Soulless

2) Changeless (May 2010)

Soulless by Gail Carriger. New York (c) 2009

Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone

HOLLY SMOKES BATMAN! When I googeled the title of this book google mostly brought up pictures from the movie, and Daniel Radcliff was like 5! Ok, not that young but still. Man I remember when the 1st movie game out, and my dad pulled my sister and I out of school so we could see it. That was a magical day for me - not because of HP but because I got to spend time with my dad and he made it so magical.

Back to the review of this book.

Harry Potter doesn't know what's so special about him. In fact all he knows is that his life is miserable. His Aunt Petunia is nosey and loud, his Uncle Vernon is fat and vicious, and his cousin Dudley is spoiled rotten and vicious like his father. He has no friends at school because everyone fears Dudley and as far as comfy beds go Harry has a lumpy one under the stairs. He doesn't know what happened to his parents, except for they died in a car crash.

Odd things keep happening to Harry, he doesn't know why, and when they do his aunt and uncle become furious at him. The months following up to his 11th birthday begin to act strange - to say the least. People walk around in funny costumes, and owls are everywhere during daylight hours! Letters addressed to Harry start to arrive at the Dursley's house - and Uncle Vernon tries to stop Harry from reading them. Eventually Harry receives his letter and learns he is a wizard.

The wizarding world is strange for Harry but he adjusts quickly even making new friends and enemies. His school year begins to get adventurous when he believes on of the school's own professors is after a mysterious package that Albus Dumbledore does not want found. It's up to Harry, Ron, and Hermoine to stop the professor from getting that package!

Reading this book brought be back to the 6th grade when I first started reading the books. I can't believe how long it's been! I remember fighting with my sister over who would get to read the newest book first and waiting with strained patience when I didn't win and had to wait for her to finish. My only complaint for the WHOLE series was how it ended. It felt like a cop out! She should've at least done 1 more book this time being the gangs time in college and fighting a rouge group of Voldermort supporters or something. Eh. All in all though it was a great book :)

Books in this series:

1) Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone

2) Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets

3) Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban

4) Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire

5) Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix

6) Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince

7) Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows

Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone by J.K. Rowling. Bloomsbury Publishing Plc. (c) 1997 US (c) 1998

Tales for Delicious Girls

This is my 1st ever book review for a publisher. OMG! I never thought this day would come :) Also, it is my first book read via PDF format - and I must say that although I'm used to reading words online I do prefer paper books (makes me wonder though if I'll like the kindle!)

The first thing that comes to my mind after reading this book is how warm and happy I feel after reading this book; like I'm snuggled in my favorite blanket in-front of the fire watching my favorite movie. This book is something I have needed to come across and read. It is a beacon of hope among a world of negative images for women.

Barbora gives us 25 delicious tales from her wonderful life. The tales cover relationships, friendships, jobs, life really. I am just a wee bit jealous that she's been to so many places in the world - and that she has actually found lover for herself. Finding love for myself is something I still struggle with today, but it's one of her powerful messages in her book: That it is obtainable but is worth the hard work obtaining it.

Her book helps women to see that they are important, smart, powerful beings in this world - and that men however cute, aren't that important to our happiness. She gives insight into the men's way of thinking and helps us to understand that they just plain think differently. Period. She helps us to understand that at the end of the day the only person that should love us the most is us. We should no longer belittle and berate ourselves of our "imperfections" and instead should embrace them and understand that they are what makes us unique.

One message from this book that hit home to me was that each time we want to "change" ourselves (either new hair color/cut, new clothes, new body, etc) we should first look inside ourselves and see what the real issue is. And I find it true. When I want a new dramatic hair color or hair cut there's a reason behind it. I don't know what the issues is but I know it's because I'm unhappy with myself, but I never dig deep enough to think why.

I recommend this book to every single woman out there. No topic goes untouched. She tells it to you in a delicious way that makes you think you've been friends forever and that you're just sitting down for a nice cup of coffee. When you're done reading this book (well at least for me) you feel happy and for now - you don't hate that your not a size 0 or that your hair isn't what "Hollywood" says is "in". You feel proud to be you - and that's what Barbora wants us to understand from her book.

My only tisk of the book would be that sometimes the pictures wouldn't match what I was reading (even though they were beautiful pictures) and that sometimes her word choice in a sentence/title would leave me confused. Again these are only my problems. I'm sure those of you reading would be like "Oh that word? I so know the meaning. How could she not know it??" Lol.

Also please stop by and visit her website!! Barbora Knobova's Website. Her book is Non-Fiction! (Thanks Darla! Sometimes I forget that not everyone can read my mind :P)

Go now and pick it up. PLEASE!

Tales for Delicious Girls by Barbora Knobova. 2009

Bitten to Death

As with all Jaz Parks adventures - they are full of adventure and the constant struggle of keeping one's head on straight.

Jaz and Vayl have been assigned to a wonderful ancient city in Greece (lucky ducks!) The two must head to the local Vampire Trust and stop Samos (the Vampire version of Brain from Pinky and the Brain) from taking the Trust over. This will not be easy because Vayl left the Trust some 100 years ago - and well there are still some sore feelings in regards to Vayl. When they arrive they expect to be greeted by the Deyrar (president) Hamon instead are greeted by a new Deyrar. They quickly find out that the Deyrar they had originally negotiated with found an untimely death.

The new Deyrar is problematic to say the least. Disa was turned by Vayl and is a power hungry . . .witch to say the least. When Disa became Deyrar not everyone was happy - and now the once beautiful lands of the Trust have begun to decay ever since she took the seat. One problem at a time though because Vayl and Jaz didn't come to solve the Trust's problems.

Vay and Jaz have to stop Samos from taking over the Trust (priority #1). If the Trust falls then Samos is closer to taking over the world. Then they have to stop Disa from whatever scheme she is planning (priority #2). Disa is power hungry and is stopping at nothing to get what she wants. Then they have to save Vayl from the unknown trap they walked into. Quite a busy day for Jaz and her team.

Like all her books, it's action packed until the very last page. I find I have such a hard time writing reviews of this book series for that very reason. I always feel like I do these books injustice but please THEY ARE FABULOUS BOOKS! THEY ARE NOT FOR ONE SECOND LAME!!

Ms Darla has some excellent reviews on this series :) So if my review falls flat please jump over to hers! (I only linked to her main blog so you'd have to find the reviews)

This book was recommended to me by Darla D!

Books in this series:

1) Once Bitten Twice Shy

2) Another One Bites the Dust

3) Biting The Bullet

4) Bitten To Death

5) One More Bite

Bitten to Death by Jennifer Rardin. New York (c) 2008